We all have someone who admires and looks up to us.  No matter what our position is in life we have someone watching our every action and listening to our every word as they aspire to become us. 

How we lead our lives and conduct ourselves has tremendous affect on others.  You should never underestimate this power and its lasting impact on the lives of others.  Sometimes we are not even aware of our powerful influence, which makes it all the more important to set a good example at all times.

I have been fortunate all my life to have been surrounded by men and women who were incredible leaders.  Some were within my family, others just friends, and some were amazing coaches or teachers in the classroom.  This is a blessing for which I recognize and never take for granted.  I shudder to think where I would be without each and every one of them.  I am fortunate to continue living out this blessing with regular influence from a coach and mentor who has probably shaped me above all others.  The stories I can share about him would shed the most light about why I am who I am today, but that story deserves its own chapter in my life book.

The relationship I am compelled to share relates to a former teammate who later developed into a good friend.  I went from an admirer to teammate to friend over the course of several years, but as it was happening I had no idea what it was building towards – especially not the one specific moment I highlight later.  This was the first time in my life where I consciously remember trying to put myself in the presence of another while hoping for an acknowledgement.  Well, I got that and a whole lot more.

I began admiring him around the age of 13, long before becoming teammates.  I was the same age and friends with his younger brother, which meant I got to see him often around a baseball field.  As the years passed I became a closer friend and got to spend a lot of time with him one-on-one.  Not only that, but I became very close to his entire family including his uncle and grandmother.  It got to the point where I did not even have to knock on their door; I was expected to walk in just like family.

I can remember my eyes and ears perking up one day early in my high school career at McGavock.  I lucked out and was taking the same economics class as he, and I made sure to sit next to him in the front row.  The class happened to be taught by our legendary baseball coach Mel Brown, which turned into a double whammy of leadership development I had no idea would lead to what it did.  Just striking up conversation with him was hard for me, but when I did he floored me with his response.  He said he had seen me play and was familiar with how well I had done that summer!  My bewildered and excited reply was, “Really?!”  President Reagan himself could have called me that night and all I would have said was, “yeah well, guess who said they liked how I played baseball?”  Oh man, was my motivation pushed to another level that day!

There were many other moments I got to share with him and our teammates, but most times it was simply me soaking up every detail of his actions and words.  Because we played on the same high school baseball team it meant I got an up close view of everything.  At that time he was one of, if not the best baseball player in the entire state of Tennessee.  His individual and team accomplishments at that time were second to none - All-District, All-State, multiple state championships, etc.  At that age I knew if I am going to emulate or aspire to be someone then I am going to look up to the best.  He was it.

He not only possessed athletic talent to excel in any sport, but his personality was a magnet everyone was drawn to be around.  How and why I was able to get closer than others I am not entirely sure, but I knew at the time it was by special invitation.  My sophomore year was his senior year, and that season he led our team to the state championship.  While I played sparingly that season it was one of the greatest learning experiences of my entire baseball career.  Our coach was old school tough, yet we all fed off that intensity, and no one did that as well as my friend.  I worked my butt off to be as good a hitter, pitcher and fielder as he was.  He had natural ability I did not possess, so I had to work extra hard to come remotely close to his accomplishments.  I was working towards receiving his positive recognition as much as I was my own sense of accomplishment.  As he and our teammates were leading us to great success at McGavock I took every opportunity to encourage him and motivate him to perform; strike out the next hitter, steal the extra base, knock in that crucial run, or pickup a teammate when they miss an opportunity.  I cannot recall him ever letting us down. 

When he graduated I felt responsible to carry the torch of success while he signed a scholarship to play collegiate baseball.  I wish I were able to say we matched our predecessors as a team, but while we had some outstanding individual talents we could not reach their level of success.  After finishing high school an opportunity arose as I was recruited to play for Cumberland University, which meant I would play against my friend.  I even had the chance to play on the same collegiate team as he, but because of his advice and encouragement, along with my high school coach’s recommendation, I signed with Woody Hunt at Cumberland instead.  I set out to prove I was worthy of the opportunity.  Everyone around me evidently believed in me, but I had to believe in myself.

That first year of college I fought through the transition of playing at the higher level of competition.  Cumberland played against all the top Division I schools along with the area small schools.  I was also learning a new position, catcher, which is the most physically and mentally demanding position on the field.  That first year I started in over half the games due to an injury to our regular catcher, a senior leader on the team, so I was baptized quickly and forced to meet the challenge whether I was ready or not.  I kept close contact with my friend and enjoyed playing against him, even though it hurt me to watch our team dominate over his team, some of which meant seeing him get roughed up in ways I was not accustomed to seeing.  Our Cumberland teams thrived on demoralizing our opponents, but it hurt me to see this happen before my own eyes. 

It was my second year at Cumberland when all my hard work really began to pay off.  I was the everyday starting catcher and got to call my own game.  I was given the tremendous responsibility of handling our pitchers pitch-by-pitch, along with my offensive obligations to produce in a lineup stacked with professional ability players.  Not only that, but there were anywhere from 5 to 10 professional scouts in the stands watching our every move in all our games.  Many of us were on their radar screen, and that culture of expectations created a feeding frenzy for us to showcase our talents.  What a wonderful feeling it was to be in a position we had worked so hard for, but without all those years of prior instruction I would not have known how to handle myself.  It felt like home to me.

As the season developed I just kept getting better and better.  I’ll be the first to admit I may have even overachieved, but I take great pride in knowing I definitely worked hard enough to earn it all.  We were all hitting machines and literally instilling fear in opposing pitchers.  How would you sleep the night before a game if you’re pitching against a lineup with three guys hitting 20+ homeruns, many with batting averages over .350 or .400, and averaging 10 runs a game?  Our nine-hole hitter would go yard on you just as easy as our 3^rd or 4^th hole.  I was one of those guys who was simply crushing the ball and having a season you dream about.  All throughout this amazing season I would see my friend and be in places where he and his teammates would pour praise upon me and the Cumberland team.  I would just smile and say thanks.  What a remarkable turnaround from our past back in high school.  My friend had no idea at the time how much wind that put beneath my wings.

Everything came full circle one day during a regional championship game played at Milligan College in East Tennessee.  All the other teams from our region were there in the hopes of moving to the next round of tournaments.  In a decisive game we went up against the best pitcher we had faced all season; a left-hander named A.R Rhea of Milligan College.  It started out a low-scoring affair because we had our best pitcher on the mound too.  It wasn’t until the sixth inning that we finally began to put Rhea on the ropes.  The game was tied 4-4 as we rallied to score 2 more runs to make it 6-4.  Up to that point I had struggled at the plate as Rhea kept me off balance, striking me out the first three times.  Needless to say I could not wait for my next opportunity.

With two powerful teams going head-to-head the game was still very much up in the air.  In baseball, your next at-bat is either about confirmation or redemption.  I was still seeking both despite already having 19 homeruns at that point in the season.  We had runners on 2^nd and 3^rd with first base open, and Milligan chooses to intentionally walk the hitter in front of me to load the bases.  The Milligan coach decided to bring in a new pitcher before I walked up to the plate for my fourth at-bat.  Out beyond the fence in right field my admired friend and his fellow Belmont teammates were preparing to play in the game following ours.  All their eyes were upon me in this moment.

I was not lacking confidence despite scuffling those first three at-bats.  Here I am with the bases loaded, tight game, season on the line, the stands are packed and cheering, both dugouts up on their feet, and my friends are all surrounding me.  What better situation to be in right?  The only thing lacking was my parents not being there to see it all.  Though I felt this chatter around me I was focused entirely on the new pitcher.  It was just us two out there - him needing to shut down our rally and me determined to open the floodgates.  Who wanted it more?

I knew nothing of the new pitcher.  I watched his warm-ups closely, but really had no reference of his ability.  All I know is I was going to make them pay for intentionally walking Tommy Smith ahead of me.  I would rather think they simply made a strategic mistake by walking the bases loaded, creating a force out situation, rather than them believe I would struggle for a fourth time.  You got me the first three times, but I will be damned if you get me a fourth.  I go through my usual routine of warm-up in the on-deck circle, walk to the plate, and give Coach Hunt a look down 3^rd base line.  I knew what he was expecting already, so I stepped into the box and became locked in on the right-handed reliever. 

First pitch.  Fastball.  Crushed it.  Dead center field.  Over 420 feet.  Grand slam. 

Our side erupts as the home crowd is silenced after witnessing their season fly over the tall trees in dead center.  It is quite possibly one of the hardest and farthest homeruns I have ever hit.  As soon as it left my bat I knew it was gone, as did everybody else in attendance.  As I rounded 3^rd base I remember Coach Hunt shaking my hand and saying, “way to get number 20 Timmy.”  I jogged in to touch home plate and my entire team was there to greet me, which was overwhelming.  The game is now 10-4 and within our control.   To top it off, my next at-bat I crushed a curveball over the right field fence for a 3-run homerun.  We won the game 14-6 as I ended the day 2 for 5 with 7 RBIs, a pretty good day after such a rough beginning.  Never give up.

Believe it or not, all of that excitement isn’t even the best part of the story for me.  After the game is over I am in the dugout packing up all my catching gear when someone comes up from behind and gives me a congratulatory pat on the butt.  I turn around to see that familiar smile and voice, “That was awesome man, great job!”  It was my dear admired friend.  I have never smiled so big in my life!

Every ounce of effort, hard work and sacrifice was all worth doing for that one moment in time.  All those years of me pouring praise upon him and here I was receiving it instead.  I am quite certain he does not realize the impact this one moment had on me and how it motivated me to make him and others even more proud.  I went on to have quite a bit of success in the sport, played professionally, and have used those experiences to propel me to where I am today.  I cannot imagine where I would be without having my friend to look up, to follow, to aspire to become during those early development years.  I can only hope at some point in my journey I too have had a similar impact on a friend, teammate or fellow cyclist.  This desire is what drives me in my current occupation as a collegiate cycling coach.

What does any of this have to do with cycling, and why such a long story?  The story requires the details to understand the depth and significance.  I hope some of you have similar stories to share.  Let's face it, we are in this for the cherished human contact and not the cycling.  I am forging relationships today I hope are meaningful and worthwhile, and one day wish to know I deeply impacted my friend's life success.  This is how I want to be measured as a man here on this Earth; along with the favor of Almighty God above.

We all have the ability to deeply affect the lives of others.  This opportunity exists regardless of your age, riding experience, or however fast you can ride a bike.  Unfortunately cyclists can be too impatient in their athletic relationships before allowing real growth to materialize and take shape.  I encourage you to think about the long-term big picture, and how the relationships with those around you can be strengthened to make the experience worthwhile for all.  Also, along that journey we tend to either never acknowledge the success of others or give praise in ways that are much less meaningful.  It is important to make your encouragement count, be sincere, thoughtful and show praise towards others you would ordinarily seek for yourself.  We all know how great it feels when we receive well earned praise, so I challenge you to look for those moments when you can provide it to others.  You just never know what it may mean to them.

My story is a seven year long process with many lessons learned along the way, but every single day of the journey was worth the payoff of a single pat on the butt.  I hit quite a few homeruns in my life, but none were quite as fulfilling and lasting as that one.  Had I not received that praise it would have been just another homerun to me.

Jeff Abner, I will be forever grateful to you my friend.