I forgot about these.  I found them on another forum but wanted share some of my favorites.

When you open a can of whoop-***, Jens Voigt jumps out and attacks.

Superman had Jens Voigt underwear when he was a boy.

Jens Voigt rides so fast during attacks, that he could circle the globe, hold his own wheel, and ride in his own draft. At least as long as he didn’t try to drop himself.

Jens Voigt nullified the periodic table because he doesn’t believe in any element, other than the element of surprise.

The grass is always greener on the other side. Unless Jens Voigt has been riding on the other side in which case it’s white with the salty, dried tears of all the riders whose souls he has crushed.